When I suffered through Ta Ra Dumb Dumb, I thought I could take anything, and I mean anything, that Bollywood could hurl at me. And then I saw Kidnap.
It is by far the worst movie I have ever seen. And I've seen movies like Eena Meena Deeka, Ekka Raja Rani and even Jawab (starring Harish of Prem Qaidi fame... Go figure!)
I'm a tolerant viewer, really I am, but Kidnap was just the last straw. I thought my head would explode... Well! I hoped it would, just so something else would seem more painful than this movie. Anything, really! I even found myself wondering if one could pass out from sheer embarrasment. I'm guessing not, since there's been no news of Imran Khan, Minisha or even Sanjay Dutt blacking out anytime recently.
Anyway, the only concrete thoughts running through my head during the movie were - "Why gawd why?" and "My eyes! My eyes!"
I judge everyone who's watched this movie, including me. I mean, why, WHY did they feel the need to cast a kid in the role of the napper? WHO thought "Ichak Dana, Bichak Dana", "Akkad Bakkad Bambe Bo" and "Eer Bir Phatte" were mysterious clues? They seemed more like a class in bad hindi nursery rhymes, really. And WHO in the hell of it thought that Minisha Lamba could pass off for a 17 year-old - who by the way, goes swimming every chance she gets, never mind the emotional upheavals in her life. It's like the director (or whoever) saw Santosh Sivan's Terrorist and actually liked it enough to get inspired by all the showers Dharkar takes during the movie. I swear to gawd.... (grinds teeth menacingly and is therefore, speechless).
My brain shut off as soon as I heard the words "This is a kidnap." I knew then, as I know now, that this was going to be one lo...ong movie. And then Sanjay Dutt said "Maine apne assistant se kaha hai mere dushmano ki list banane ko" , and all hope sank without a trace. I mean here was (allegedly) the richest man in the world who was too lazy to even figure who the kidnapper could be, stealing people's cars and bikes and what-have-you. Something just didn't seem right. No. Let me rephrase that. Nothing seemed right.
I cannot express just how much it bothers me to see that the darn thing is still playing in cinemas. I am of the opinion that not only should the movie be banned, but the people in it (who, by the way, actually got paid, and paid good for this atrocity) and everyone responsible for it should be taken to court
I'd like to ask what the hell was wrong with each and every member of the crew. But honestly, I have neither time nor patience to find out. Not after watching the movie. Not after losing three hours of my life which I'll never get back.
It is by far the worst movie I have ever seen. And I've seen movies like Eena Meena Deeka, Ekka Raja Rani and even Jawab (starring Harish of Prem Qaidi fame... Go figure!)
I'm a tolerant viewer, really I am, but Kidnap was just the last straw. I thought my head would explode... Well! I hoped it would, just so something else would seem more painful than this movie. Anything, really! I even found myself wondering if one could pass out from sheer embarrasment. I'm guessing not, since there's been no news of Imran Khan, Minisha or even Sanjay Dutt blacking out anytime recently.
Anyway, the only concrete thoughts running through my head during the movie were - "Why gawd why?" and "My eyes! My eyes!"
I judge everyone who's watched this movie, including me. I mean, why, WHY did they feel the need to cast a kid in the role of the napper? WHO thought "Ichak Dana, Bichak Dana", "Akkad Bakkad Bambe Bo" and "Eer Bir Phatte" were mysterious clues? They seemed more like a class in bad hindi nursery rhymes, really. And WHO in the hell of it thought that Minisha Lamba could pass off for a 17 year-old - who by the way, goes swimming every chance she gets, never mind the emotional upheavals in her life. It's like the director (or whoever) saw Santosh Sivan's Terrorist and actually liked it enough to get inspired by all the showers Dharkar takes during the movie. I swear to gawd.... (grinds teeth menacingly and is therefore, speechless).
My brain shut off as soon as I heard the words "This is a kidnap." I knew then, as I know now, that this was going to be one lo...ong movie. And then Sanjay Dutt said "Maine apne assistant se kaha hai mere dushmano ki list banane ko" , and all hope sank without a trace. I mean here was (allegedly) the richest man in the world who was too lazy to even figure who the kidnapper could be, stealing people's cars and bikes and what-have-you. Something just didn't seem right. No. Let me rephrase that. Nothing seemed right.
I cannot express just how much it bothers me to see that the darn thing is still playing in cinemas. I am of the opinion that not only should the movie be banned, but the people in it (who, by the way, actually got paid, and paid good for this atrocity) and everyone responsible for it should be taken to court
I'd like to ask what the hell was wrong with each and every member of the crew. But honestly, I have neither time nor patience to find out. Not after watching the movie. Not after losing three hours of my life which I'll never get back.
And curses fly thick and fast!
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